The Morning Hit–8/12/15

Welcome back to The Morning Hit, where we talk about what’s happening online so you aren’t out on your own out there. We’re here to guide you.

Let’s get to it.

1. More Deflategate. I don’t have the exact numbers, but I believe that today is roughly the millionth day in a row that Deflategate is in the news cycle. Today, Tom Brady and Roger Goodell will stand in front of a judge to try and explain why this is still a thing, and whether or not the league acted properly in punishing Brady. I’ve touched on this before, and I wish I didn’t feel this way, but I think I’m with Brady and the Patriots on this one. If you read through the transcript of Brady’s appeal hearing, you’ll see that he compares having the footballs conditioned to his liking to a shortstop having his glove properly broken in. If you ever played baseball, you know exactly what he means by that. Also, he describes the way he holds a football to the way a golfer would hold a golf club — with soft hands — so his ability to squeeze the ball really doesn’t have that much of an effect on his play. Now I could easily see how a person might call BS on that last claim, but as somebody who really enjoys golf, hearing it described that way makes perfect sense to me. I don’t know exactly what it says about me as a person that I’m siding with Brady and the Patriots, but the arguments they’re using to combat anything the league is throwing at them are sound, and quite frankly, practical. I’ll be curious to see how this plays out.

• Why the Browns (Stink). A couple weeks ago I mentioned Deadspin’s humorous take on NFL previews, which is not so much a season preview but a laundry list of reasons why the team you root for is awful. As you could probably imagine, Deadspin doesn’t pull any punches, and yesterday it was the Browns’ turn to go through the wringer. Here are some highlights:

On Textgate: Only the Browns could find a way to cheat (and get caught and punished) in a way that offered absolutely NO strategic advantage on the field. They are the first and last NFL franchise to get punished for gossiping.

On what it’s like to be the Browns: Being the Browns means you exist on a permanent, endless assembly line of mechanized humiliation.

On the new jerseys: That new orange is part of a full uniform overhaul designed to make the Browns look like a second-tier SEC East team. The jerseys feature the name CLEVELAND on the front so that players can find their way home after getting concussed by opponents.

On the Brian Hartline acquisition: The team also signed Brian Hartline. Hmm, I wonder if Browns fans will cotton to a mayo-boy wideout who played at Ohio State? They can’t press his name onto replica jerseys fast enough.

On the “new” Browns: These are the impostor Browns. Ever watch a horror movie where a kid dies and the parents bring him back thanks to black magic and/or cloning and there’s something off about the new kid? That’s what the Browns are now. They are the demon child. Ever since their unholy resurrection in 1999, this franchise and its fans have been determined to degrade themselves in every conceivable way. I can’t bear to look anymore.

And so on. It’s both hilarious and depressing at the same time. Hopefully sometime in the near future it’s actually a challenge to write these things about the Browns, but I’m not going to hold my breath.

• Locker room fight! Nothing makes sports social media blow up quite like a fight between teammates, as was the case yesterday, when Jets QB Geno Smith and LB IK Enemkpali reportedly got into a bit of a scuffle over an unpaid $600 plane ticket. Apparently Smith was supposed to attend Enemkpali’s football camp, but had to cancel at the last minute to attend to a personal matter. However, Enemkpali had paid for his ticket, and Smith hadn’t reimbursed him yet. Words were exchanged and Smith’s jaw was broken. He now requires surgery, and is out up to 10 weeks, leaving Ryan Fitzpatrick to lead the Jets until he returns. (The Jets open the season at home against the Browns.) Something tells me this isn’t going to end well for Enemkpali — who has already been cut by the Jets — because these things tend to play out in favor of the player with more star power. Now I’m not saying Geno Smith is a superstar or anything, but his name is at least recognizable, and the other guy’s isn’t (to the common fan anyway).
• This is going to come back to bite them. Remember this video, because I’m sure NBA superstars will. Because there’s nothing else going on in sports and every league feels the need to be top of mind at all times, the NBA held a photo shoot for the rookies who will (possibly) make their professional debuts in November. Since there was a lot of time and not a lot to do, SB Nation asked some of these young guys to do impressions of some current NBA superstars including LeBron James, James Harden, Dirk Nowitzki and yes, Matthew Dellavedova. If I was a rookie coming into the league, there is NO WAY you could talk me into participating. The last thing you need is LeBron circling a date on the calendar to embarrass you on the court in ways that you couldn’t even imagine. If anything, they should be trying to get on the stars’ good sides.

That’s all for me today. My information is in the author box below, and be sure to follow The Chronicle on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram to keep up with what’s going on around you.

Have a great day everybody.

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